The Wrong Reason To Move In Together

Moving In Together

Let’s not beat around the bush.

It’s money.

Money is the wrong reason for moving in with your significant other.

We won’t wax philosophical about all the right reasons – you’ll get plenty of love and commitment advice from your family, friends and Cosmo. We’re here to talk about the money part of a relationship.

Why is money the wrong reason to live together?

  • It’s not a strong foundation for a relationship. If you don’t have the right reasons – wanting to live together, seeing a future together (all those things we’ll let your mother tell you), then there’s a decent chance things won’t work out.
  • You may decide down the road that you want out, but because the arrangement saves you money, you could feel compelled to stay. Not a healthy dynamic.

If you find yourself saying these two phrases, think twice about moving in together.

Red flag #1:

“We’re moving in together to save money.”

Let’s say you and your partner each have your own apartment. Lately, you’ve been spending a lot of time over at each other’s place. Going back and forth and schlepping your stuff is becoming annoying. And you’re paying two rents. Why not save some money and make things more convenient? Let’s just move in!

Sure, if you find a new place as a couple or if one moves in with the other, you may see some savings:

  • Save on rent after factoring in potential broker fees, moving expenses and new household purchases
  • Save on transportation costs such as Uber, gas or public transport, since you no longer shuttle between two homes
  • Save on food if you cook more together and eat out less often
  • Save on utilities, cable and Internet by paying for just one home instead of two

This all makes sense, and we hear you. But hear us:

Saving money shouldn’t be the reason for moving in together. It should be the result of moving in together.

If you think you’re being practical and that it’s a good thing, think again. Don’t get us wrong – we’re big fans of rational thought. However, this is what being practical should sound like: “We’re going to share an apartment because we’ve decided together, money aside, that we both want to do this and we’re ready for it. An added bonus is we’ll save some money.”

Red flag #2:

“My lease expires soon, so it’s the right time to move in together.”

Sure, paying two rents usually costs more than paying one. However, the looming deadline of a lease expiration can create an unnecessary sense of urgency and drive to a premature decision to move in together.

Instead of allowing the relationship to take its natural course, this artificial milestone speeds up the decision to merge households. Ask yourselves, “Did the lease expiration make us talk about living together, or is it something we wanted to do even before the topic of the lease came up?”

As before, being practical about money should not drive this decision. The end of a lease should not be the main reason for moving in with your romantic partner. If you’re both excited about living together and talked it through, then decide how to handle the lease, whether it’s expiring or not.

Do you agree or disagree? Did you move in together to save money? Leave a comment below!

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